The X Factor’s going in One Direction ...

So here we have arrived into Week Three of that highly addictive competition-slash-drama that we call the X Factor.

To say this is the best series yet is an understatement. Those who thought the hype wouldn’t match last year’s have been proved very wrong - the level of fame the show has achieved this year has reached fever-pitch. This week the contestants were taken “shopping” and were duly mobbed by hundreds perhaps thousands of screaming fans in London. I say “shopping” because I wouldn’t put it past Simon Cowell to have tipped off the entire British press that they were going to be there, and it was hardly as though all of the final 12 would expect a leisurely browse in Top-Shop, on a trip where they all just happened to be together, enjoying each other’s company ...
But then the media frenzy is what makes this show all the more delicious! I’m part of it, after all. Last night I was glued yet again to my TV and was not disappointed. The highlight for me was Katie Waissel. Here’s my low-down on last night’s performances ...

Paije: A phenomenal voice, but this is clearly a stitch-up: they put him deliberately first, because they know that that is the most vulnerable position, and usually increases the chance of someone being in the bottom two, as they will have faded from memory by the time the phone lines open at the end of the performances. Great vocal, but I can’t help think they’re willing him to go ... they put him first and dress him in pretty outrageous garb that would’ve been in the dustbin even in the Eighties ... I think, sadly, Paije’s time on this show is borrowed. He’s a great performer, but not a popstar.

John: Another stitch-up, because going second is almost as bad as going first. I think they’re willing this one to go too. Great vocal, but this is starting to not mean anything when all the finalists have a ship-shape pair of lungs on them. A performance that was slated by the judges, had some unnecessary smooching from backing dancers in the background ... and a downright silly choice of hairstyle. Like Paije, his card is also marked.

Rebecca: Vocal of the goosebump variety, she’s really beginning to suit those slow, svelte numbers they’re giving her. Popstar? Maybe a few decades ago ...

TreyC: Unfortunately I was distracted during this performance so I can’t really comment, although maybe the fact I was distracted wasn’t a good sign. I think she’s a great singer but she looks too like Alexandra and Leona in genre ... I think the job vacancy she’s going for is already filled.

Wagner: Where do I begin! Seems a lovely man, but absolutely bonkers. We also might as well start naming him the Court Jester, because he’s got as much chance of winning as FYD. Sadly for him, he’s part of the X Factor game ... he’s a bit of fun in the early rounds, before it gets serious and it’s Boa Noite for him.

One Direction: The X Factor Cash Cow. You only have to feel the vibe of their popularity everywhere to know this group won’t just win the competition but will be catapulted to stardom leaving their humble roots way behind them. They’re young, good-looking and have charisma, which basically fills every teenage girl’s criteria. They can sing ok, but to be honest I can’t see that that matters one jot. They’ll put teenage bums on seats, their posters will be everywhere and they bring the pounds rolling in for Mr Cowell. Which means it is small wonder he’s plugging the group as much as he can and realistically is probably already jotting down ideas for their first album. The clear winners by far.

Belle Amie: Poor lasses. If anyone’s going to feel failure due to the success of One Direction, it’s them. The only other group left in Simon’s category, they’re pretty much on the scrapheap already. There’s only room for one group in this town, and One Direction have plumped quite happily for that spot. With Simon plugging them away, his other act Belle Amie don’t stand a chance. OK vocals, they gel a bit, but no-one really knows who they are or their names, or even cares. They’re going tonight.

Mary: I absolutely loved Mary last week, and was really looking forward to this week’s performance. Sadly I was disappointed. I was expecting a powerful belting number, but not one she’d already performed at her first audition. That’s old hat now. The song was fine, the vocals were amazing as always, but it was old news. Come on Mary, show us what you’re made of and bring the house down next week!

Matt: Wow. Wow. WOW. This, along with Katie, was a stellar performance. Who would have thought that him sat there on his own with nothing but his guitar singing Baby One More Time would have worked, but boy did it work! He made the song completely his own and left me spellbound by his performance. A true pro, give the man a record deal NOW!

Aiden: Mmm yeah ok he was good, but his performance is getting a bit samey. For once I agree with Cheryl – I don’t know if I could sit through 22 songs of him twitching like a maniac.

Cher: Another pro. Like Simon said, you would’ve thought she was at one of her own concerts the way she performed. Sexy, sassy and confident to the core, she rocked the place. I only hope the bad press she’s getting doesn’t pull her down.

Katie: The performance of the night!! What an ending to the show, with a jazzy version of the Jungle Book’s King of the Swingers, she jazzed nimbly across the stage in a stunning and cheeky Twenties’ style dress and feathery boa that positively made her look radiant. She looked every inch the popstar as she threw back her head, laughed and jazzed her way through this nifty number. I would pay good money to see that performance again, and many more like it. A true star!!